How to Use Social Media to Match for Adoption

There are a variety of reasons that hopeful adoptive parents (HAPs) may choose to self-match for their adoption. This is also called independent adoption and is commonly referred to as private adoption. Technically private adoption means a non-public adoption so not through the county/foster care system. Private adoption can be with or without an agency.

For many, self-matching can make the adoption process less expensive and possibly quicker than matching through an adoption agency. Even some HAPs that are working with an agency will turn to self-matching to speed up their process and feel like they are taking more of their journey into their own hands.

Despite your reasons for trying to self-match, one of the easiest and most cost-effective methods is by utilizing social media. This is how my husband and I found our match and ended up adopting our sweet son. The connections we made on Facebook also led us to the match that resulted in us adopting our second son. There are a few different ways to self-match using social media and we will explore them below.

1. Create a page/account for your social media journey- This is a method that can be used on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, or any combination of social networks that you can think of. I do not recommend creating an account on every platform. The most effective thing you can do is chose 1-2 platforms and create high quality content for them. This is more time consuming than it may seem at first glance so start small and build from there.

Because I have 5+ years of social media marketing experience, we started with a Facebook, Instagram, and eventually a TikTok account for our self-matching journey. This became a bit too much to manage so for a variety of reasons, we dropped TikTok and got really focused on Facebook and Instagram.

We worked hard to create quality content and post consistently on these two platforms. We built our way up to posting every day, which I recommend to perform well in the algorithm for both platforms. Some days, the content was the same across platforms, such as a photo of us that talked about our values and lifestyle. Other days, we put something on Facebook that was designed to start a conversation or get a lot of shares, while we created a reel to gain reach on Instagram.

Your goals for creating a social media page to self-match for adoption are as follows:

1. Inform about your life- Use your posts to answer the questions that expectant mothers might have about you. This provides the content they will be looking for when they come across your page with adoption already on their mind. Be authentic and relatable!

2. Help people find your journey- Posting consistently and using keywords and hashtags are great ways to perform well in social media algorithms and help your audience grow. You don’t only want potential expectant moms to find you. The more people that follow your journey is more people that can share your content as well as advocate for you via word of mouth.

3. Build an engaged audience- Now that you’ve gotten your content in front of people and increased your follows, you also want to focus on engaging your audience. The more reactions, comments, and shares you get on your content, the more people that will see it, further increasing your following and spreading your journey. You want eyes on your profile and building an engaged following is the most effective way to achieve that.

Working toward these goals will not only increase your odds of self-matching on social media, but also give you sense of ownership over your adoption journey. I found it very helpful to have a small thing I could do every day (make a post) to get us closer to adopting. I think our son’s bio mom also appreciated how much she could learn about us (and about adoption) from scrolling through all of the content I put out there. This is another reason it is important to not just ask for shares on every post. Educating and engaging your audience is what you should focus on here! A content strategy can help you balance your posts and ensure that you aren’t just posting to ask for shares every day. I have content planners available in my Etsy shop to help create these strategies. Don’t forget to occasionally share your posts on your personal page. This gets your friends and family interested in and educated about your journey, without spamming them with only adoption posts.

If you're interested in learning more about how we used a Facebook page to match, I created a course that walks you through the process step-by-step: Facebook to Match for Adoption: A Guide for Hopeful Parents 

2. The next way to use social media to self-match for adoption is by joining and engaging in online communities. There are countless groups devoted to adoption matching and support on Facebook. Join all that you can but be sure to check the rules before posting. Some groups are set up to only be for resources and support. These are immensely valuable to be a part of as well, but the groups designed to help with matching are where you will want to make posts about your journey.

A hack I used to save time posting in these groups was to write up an intro to our family that could be shared in multiple places and save it in the notes app on my phone, then about once a month, I copied it and posted it with a photo of us in each of these groups. Again- spend some time checking out the group rules and previous posts to see how often others are posting and how they are structuring it (some groups require you to post in albums by location, etc.). You do want to adhere to what you see others doing, but also find small ways to set your family apart for expectant moms that are looking.

An important tip for this strategy is to not get discouraged. These groups are often over-saturated with HAPs and don’t always see a lot of expectant mothers. Matching here is still entirely possible and I actually know someone who has done it! I personally spent maybe 20 minutes once a moth posting our profile in these groups and I’d say that was worth it for the potential to match and reach we gained!

3. The final way to self-match for adoption on social media is to make posts on your personal profile to let your friends and followers know you are hoping to adopt. This is somewhat similar to making a page for your adoption account, except it doesn’t involve actually making the page. This would be the ideal option for HAPs that want to put a small amount of effort into self-matching on social media, but are unable to commit to posting regularly and implementing a content strategy. That being said, it may be the least effective as self-matching on social media is hard work and you’re likely to get out of it what you put into it.

If you choose to forgo a page specifically for your adoption, I would aim to make a post every 4-6 weeks updating your friends about your journey and reminding them that you could use shares and prayers.

Regardless of which method (or combination of methods) you choose to pursue for your self-matching on social media efforts, I wish you the best of luck with your adoption journey. If you’re looking for ideas of what to post or tips for growing your account(s), follow my Instagram @thehelpfulHAP and feel free to send me your questions! Adoption is a crazy, beautiful, and wild ride and it has blessed my family immensely. My prayer is that it will bring this much joy to your family as well. Happy matching!