I Tried These 4 Strategies to Self-Match for Adoption: Here’s What Worked

There are many methods to try when attempting to self-match for adoption. A simple internet search will find you various tactics and couples that have had success with them. This type of search is where I found myself when my husband and I were seeking to self-match for our own adoption. That same search might be what brought you to this blog.

If that is the case, I’m so happy you’re here! Adoption has been the biggest blessing to my family and I am so excited and thankful for the opportunity to offer tips to help you along your adoption journey as well!

From social media to old school marketing and everything in between, I tried many methods for self-matching. Below is an overview of four of these tactics and what worked for us:

1.      Facebook- This, to me, is the star of the show when trying to self-match for adoption. This is because Facebook is where not only my family, but also many others that I know have had success with self-matching for adoption. We created a page (not a profile) to match for adoption and it worked, only four months after our home study was approved!

What we found when making this page to match was that growth comes when you are not only posting to expectant mothers, but also to an audience of people that are interested in your journey. Building this audience helps your content to travel farther in the Facebook algorithm as well as through shares.

Posting content that got our audience to engage, helped us grow our following to many people that we did not personally know. The shares on our posts compounded and eventually we had hundreds of followers and shares that totaled thousands of eyes on our content. This led to our son’s birth mom seeing one of our posts and reaching out. The rest is history from there!

2.      Instagram- While not how we matched the first time, this is my second choice and certainly an avenue worth pursuing when trying to self-match for adoption. If taking on two social media platforms feels like a lot, don’t worry. The goals on Instagram are nearly identical to Facebook, but the tactics used are somewhat different.

Much of the content you are already posting on Facebook can be posted on Instagram, you will just want to add relevant hashtags and consider changing it to video form every now and then. If you have plenty of time to invest in both platforms, there are certainly multiple ways in which you can tailor your strategy on each platform and make one piece of content work in different ways.

Perhaps the most effective strategy when using Instagram to self-match for adoption is creating reels. By using trending audio and clear, concise text on the screen, you will have the opportunity to capture the attention of a new, organic audience with every reel you create.

If you don’t have time to dive head first into reels, don’t sweat it. Re-purposing your existing Facebook content for Instagram is better than having no Instagram presence at all. Instagram has many users not on Facebook and having a presence is the first step to getting seen! You can always devote time to learning more about reels and other Instagram strategies as you get more comfortable with your posting schedule.

3.      Life Book- The next strategy that my husband and I tried to self-match for adoption was through a life book. This can be a digital or physical book (we did both) that highlights your family and lifestyle. Think of it as a photo book that answers anything an expectant mother may want to know about you.

The physical books can be kept on file at adoption attorneys’ offices and pregnancy care centers (be sure to call these offices first to ensure they are willing to keep books on file for hopeful adoptive parents!). The digital books can be posted to social media and emailed as PDFs.

If you are not familiar with Canva.com, this is a fantastic tool for creating your life book. They have tons of templates or you can start from scratch to design the book of your dreams. You can also order a printed book from Canva at a reasonable price, or download the book as picture files for social media and a PDF for email! If you are not feeling that creative or would prefer to hire a professional designer to create your life book, there are many graphic designers out there to choose from. I highly recommend looking into Poppy & Rose for a customized life book. You can learn more about my fellow adoptive mom, Gina, on her Etsy shop!

While we did not match from our life book per se, our attorney did let us know that we were one expectant mom’s second choice from seeing our life book, along with the books of several other couples. Our son’s biological mom also said that she really appreciated the photos and information in our life book when she had the opportunity to see it after we connected but before we matched. In addition, I know a couple who recently matched via their life book at an attorney’s office. It happens!

4.      Letters to churches and doctors’ offices – This strategy for self-matching is the most antiquated of those that we tried, but that does not mean it can’t work! I made a list of all the churches and OBGYN offices I could think of and made a spreadsheet with their mailing addresses. This was difficult because I wasn’t sure where to stop. Obviously I cannot send a letter to every church and OB in the country, so I focused on those closest to me first. I wrote a letter introducing my husband and I and talking about our plans to adopt. I included our social media information and adoption email and invited the recipients of my letter to follow along.

I have no way of knowing how many of these letters got kept for reference and how many went immediately in the garbage. I also have no way of knowing whether the letters led to any new followers on our social media pages. One benefit of this method is that it specifically targets expectant moms that are looking to make an adoption plan in your area, which if you are hoping for an open adoption, is a great benefit.

My guess is the number of people that got anything from my letters are very low, if not 0. I do not think this is a method I would invest time and other resources into again, but it was certainly worth a shot when I did it. It is possible that we gained followers from those letters and even if we didn’t it gave me a productive way to pass time during our wait.

This list rounds out the four main strategies that I tried to self-match for adoption. When attempting to self-match, it is vital that you know and understand your state laws. Some state requires you to work with an agency to complete an adoption, but you can still try methods to self-match and then use an agency to facilitate the process. If you are in a state that does not require an agency for adoption, I recommend finding a reputable and ethical adoption attorney. You can use this tool to find one near you. They will be able to guide you through the ins and outs of your state laws regarding adoption, and help ensure the process goes smoothly. They also will likely keep your life book on file for any expectant mothers that come in looking to make an adoption plan!

I hope you have found these strategies helpful as you continue seeking ways to self-match for adoption. If you’re looking for more tips for self-matching, especially on social media, follow me on Instagram @thehelpfulHAP or join my Facebook group. Happy matching!