How to Adopt a Baby Without an Agency
Independent adoption is a type of private adoption that does not require an agency. Adopting without an agency can be appealing to hopeful adoptive parents for a handful of reasons from keeping the costs down to having more autonomy and flexibility in your journey. It’s important to note that there are a few states in the U.S. that require the use of an agency when trying to adopt. Regardless of your reasons for hoping to adopt independently, it is possible, legal, and ethical to do so, in all states that allow it. Read on for a roadmap to adopt without an agency.
This was taken at the courthouse after we adopted our second son.
1. Research
The first step to independent adoption is to do some research. Being sure you understand your state laws and what exactly you are choosing to forego by not using an agency is paramount. Adoption laws vary widely by state so do some digging to find out more about your state’s laws and consider reaching out to an adoption attorney with any questions you may have. You will need one to complete an adoption anyway. I always recommend using a quad A attorney for independent adoption as they are held to high standards for ethics and experience.
Some things to look up in the research phase are:
Allowable expenses for the hopeful parents to cover
Waiting periods for all steps of the process (how ling from birth till placement, how long from placement to finalization)
Consent requirements
Whether an agency has to be involved at any point
2. Get started with an attorney
The next step, as mentioned above, is to get started with an experienced adoption attorney. Only do this once you’ve officially decided to adopt without using an agency as many agencies will have certain attorneys you are required to use, and many independent attorneys will charge a fee for an initial consultation.
Your attorney will be your guide in an independent adoption, so it’s important to find someone you can trust. I recommend you do some searching for reputable adoption attorneys in your area, read their Google and Facebook reviews, and make a short list of your top choices. If you know of any adoptive parents nearby, they could be a great resources for learning about attorneys near you and what their experience was like.
Before you go meet with an attorney, I recommend you make a list of questions to ask about their experience, the process of independent adoption and anything else you can think of. It can be an exciting and emotional time, and notes will help you stay on track and make sure the meeting is as productive as possible.
3. Start your home study
After that you will want to get started on your home study. Our attorney was a great resource for recommending a social worker that could perform our home study. This is another case where you will want to be sure you are going to pursue independent adoption as agencies often require the home study to be performed by them. If you end up going the agency route later on, you will likely have to get a new home study, which can take time and be expensive.
An adoption home study includes a ton of paperwork, a few in-home interviews, background checks, classes, and often a few other hoops to jump through. It’s really nothing to be afraid of though. Ours took about 3 months from start to completion (although timelines can vary so it’s a god idea to ask the provider what they’re typically seeing) and then was good for 2 years. Most home studies expire 1-2 years after approval so it’s important to keep in mind that you’ll want to have this done when you are very serious about adopting and ready to put yourself out there to try and match.
4. Match
Now comes the fun (and perhaps the most intimidating) part! We started putting ourselves out there on social media to try and match early in the process. It was around the same time that we set up the initial consultation with our attorney. In my opinion, it is acceptable to do this before you are home study approved as it takes time to build up an audience and grow your reach. As long as you are actively working toward getting a home study completed, I think you are good to start trying to match.
We made a Facebook page (not a personal profile) for our journey, as well as an Instagram account. We ultimately matched on Facebook by posting consistently, building an engaged audience and strategically asking for shares. I have more details on how we did this on my Instagram account and also offer the course Using Facebook to Match for Adoption if you are interested in learning more.
We also made profile books to give to adoption attorneys and pregnancy centers that would keep them on file for any expectant mothers that came in looking to make an adoption plan. This isn’t how we matched, but it does work for some people and doesn’t take much to do. We used Canva to make and print ours and downloaded an image file of each page to put in an album on our facebook page.
The wait to match can sometimes be long but the bright side of independent adoption is that you have some control over that part of the process. Agencies do get cases from expectant mothers reaching out to them and then try to present waiting families according to preferences, but when you try to self-match, you are in charge of putting yourself out there and can essentially present yourself every time you post.
Once an expectant mother reaches out to you and you spend some time getting to know each other, she might go on to say that she’s ready to move forward with the process of placing her child with you. This means you’re matched! At this stage in the process, both parties should have separate legal representation and the lawyers can be there to answer any more questions.
5. Placement
The next step, placement, cannot happen until after baby is born. The birth mother’s state laws will indicate how long after birth placement is allowed. In my state (Ohio) it is three days. Placement is when the hopeful adoptive parents take legal guardianship of the baby and the birth mother signs her consents to the adoption. We were fortunate to be within an hour of the birth mother both times we matched and got to be at the hospital during birth. Both times the attorneys and birth mothers involved had set up legal power of attorney so that we were able to take the baby home with us from the hospital and be the primary caregivers until the placement hearing. Both times it was one week after birth that our hearing was able to occur.
6. Finalization
Finalization is the FINAL step in adopting a child in the US. In Ohio it is required to be no less than six months after placement. During this time, the home study provider/social worker is required to visit the home and check on how the new parents and baby are adjusting once a month. He or she then writes a report to submit to the courts suggesting that they can see the child is in a safe and loving home. Assuming the adoptive parents (and their providers) have dotted all the Is and crossed all the Ts, finalization is granted and the child is officially adopted into their forever family!
That’s all, folks!
There you have it, those are the steps to adopt a baby without an agency. I hope this information helps you break down and understand what can be an overwhelming process. If you’re ready to get started with trying to match for adoption on Facebook, check out my course or starter guides, or if you just want to stay in touch and get more tips to you inbox, visit my home page and join my email list! Wishing you all the best on your journey!